'Nother staff leaving. So I had to attend one of those becoming-ubiquitous 'farewell' dinners, which wasted a good 3-4 hours on my off day in something that drags down my mood significantly.
1) Physical social gatherings + internet introvert = does not mix.
Talk about energy draining. But, because I go to be diplomatic and to attempt to rejoin the rest of the human race, even though...
2) Topics talked about do not interest me.
*sighs* It's either mainstream commentaries - TV, some movie, National Service, urban legends, ghost stories - or gossip. Often malicious work-related gossip, and a big fat negative complaint session wherein the person feeling 'wronged' declares how right and justified he or she really is, from their perspective.
I have very little common shared interest in the former. And often, I get even more depressed that I seem to be so un-mainstream from everybody else. Heck, I don't even seem to fit into any subcultures in Singapore. Haha.
The latter is sometimes fun, in a mean sort of way or a 'boy, got it off my chest' manner, but ultimately, imo, negative for one's mood and depressing and makes you distrust everybody and think the worst of everyone.
3) Self-esteem takes a hit. Doubt sets in.
Do I stay or go? Do I stay or go? Life's not perfect. Work's not perfect. Nothing is -ever- going to be perfect. I find my job pretty cushy. I also find certain aspects of the job eyeball-rolling ludicrous. I am not 100% happy where I am. I am also 100% certain that I will not be 100% happy wherever else I go either.
Bitchy complaint sessions from people who are deeply unhappy and have chosen to go are kinda slanted in the obvious direction you'd expect them to rationalize.
Then I get to go into a spasm of self-doubt and ping pong back wondering wtf do I care about the opinions of other people, my life is my life, I don't need to try and change to make them happy, and back and forth and back and forth.
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So anyway, my own bitch session is over. I hit upon something tonight that lifted my mood in a 100% guaranteed manner. So I am recording it down for posterity in case I ever need it again, and I sure get depressed often enough to need it:
Go listen to Weird Al Yankovich's Don't Download This Song. Go. Do it now.
Before the end of the chorus was over, I was giggling/cackling uncontrollably and singing along at the top of my lungs.
So now instead of brooding over stuff that I cannot change and reserving them for future thought sessions where I am calmer and more receptive, my brain is now munching on the question of why exactly I find this particular song totally hilarious.
Part of it is the lyrics. I love clever lyrics. Only Sting and Weird Al can create the cleverest erudite lyrics in my book.
Part of it is the tune. So I'm an 80's kid. This sort of 'inspirational' singalong We Are The World chorus songs are part of my upbringing. Just too catchy for one's own good.
Part of it is the fun philosophical 'guilt' produced in experiencing the song. We're downloaders. We know it's illegal. Just how comfortable are we with the whole subject? Is it as bad as the RIAA make it out to be? Plus the poking fun at 'evil' corporations and rich people.
Of course, part of it is that so many people just don't quite get it. And write the freakiest comments about it. So there's a certain satisfaction in being 'smart' enough to appreciate it on all its levels.
And linking to that, that Weird Al was so fiendishly devilishly clever with this song, twisting it into some sort of self-referential paradox. Since he himself made it freely downloadable from his own website...
"Don't Download This Song," indeed.
Everything just turns upon itself in a big pile of funny stuff that tickles every single one of my humor buttons and I just can't help it but laugh and laugh...and feel significantly better afterwards.
I'm-a gonna listen to it again. And again. Until the tears roll down. Cos you can laugh or cry at this freaky world we live in, and I much rather laugh than feel sad about everything.
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