Now here's an interesting article that's written so well that it bugs me. And keeps bugging me. So I have to think about it and talk out to discover my opinion of it.
http://www.sirlin.net/Features/feature_PlayToWinPart1.htm
The other articles are, I believe, worth reading too, though I was focusing on the play to win ones for now.
In a way, it's all undeniably true what he says. That's how achievers/explorer types go all out to WIN.
And in another way, it is chillingly alien and scary to me. The mindset reminds me of an almost autistic way of thinking, very focused on esoteric detail, concerned about split and miliseconds of time, and remembering all sorts of trivia and so on.
Crud, when I put it that way, I'm disturbingly reminded of me and RoD and astral-capable roomfinds, and then it's not so damn alien anymore, is it?
But somehow it's totally disturbing. I think it's the amorality of it. Yea yea, call me a scrub, like 99.9% of the population. You've basically thrown aside everything else in a single-minded effort to excel at one thing, which is winning whatever competition/tournament you have your mind set on, within the legal rules of the game.
And humanity is chock full of a lot more baggage than that. That's why it hangs on your mind and you lose, I suppose. And the 0.1% that can throw away all that, win the contest. But, I wonder, what have they lost for it?
Again, perhaps RoD has taught me more lessons than I give it credit for.
There was a point in time when I was all out focused on winning. I wanted those glory numbers rolling in. Nothing could stand in my way. I wouldn't actually CHEAT, of course, but all those rule-bendings that are well, in the foggy grey area?
What was wrong with losing link on the thief, and logging a mage to go locate items? I mean, you could get away with the same thing if you just ordertalked and asked a mage friend to locate for you, right? Technically, you're still IP 1. Ditto for picking up heals with the same tactic. Especially if the mob is built so that it's unkillable with 200 heals (which is roughly the amount a well stocked thief carries, give or take 50.) That's how everyone plays, it's in the unofficial rulebook.
What about finding hidden keywords by dropping a, dropping b, dropping c, and so on until you got the correct name, thanks to the code which allows for abbreviation? Anyone could do it if they knew how and figured it out, just like I did by myself, right?
What about downloading every smaug area you could get your hands on, and using Windows Find to go pick out specific phrases? Heck, I knew Alexian was cyborging himself more than that, with his own written progs to datamine shit. What about using zmud to map every room possible - and use its search function also?
I type fast. I'm a blazingly fast typer. That wins me trivia contests. So what if I already pre-type the "quest " command and just type in the answer? Precious miliseconds saved. What if I saved myself typing c 'astral' wherever, by making an alias "ast"? Heck, I could make it an "a" alias if I wanted to.
What if I macroed everything in PK? That'll make me faster too.
Well, you get the picture. I could go on for a bit, so could Kelizendis, no doubt. I never stepped outside though. I know there were others who did, who tried to get away with duping, manipulating badly written progs, etc. I dunno if you want to call them external cheats or not, because the usual exploiter frame of mind was that it's in the code, it's legal to exploit the loophole if not patched up, I reported the bug already, etc. But well, if the imms came down on it and said No, and balzhured, then ok, not within the legal parameters.
But while playing within the limits and edging it ever so closely...
(Let us save the other rant for another day - about stupid younger imms who had no clue about these limits because they never actually PLAYED the questing game for real and acted like scrubs and tried to enforce "morality" rules on quests they made, not knowing that they'd never catch everything and would only serve twisted justice at best. End leet questor mini-rant.)
Well, I could be damn ruthless. It wasn't so obvious in normal questing because frankly, all ego aside, I was the best of them, competing against Alexian and Rathain, and when the two of them left, I lorded it for a mighty fine time before Zwanth showed up and I started to tire of the "playing to win" option.
And I never liked RoD PK. Something about the pointlessness of the game for me. Maybe no clear winner or loser per se, just a lot of equipment shuffling as you put it, and temp team tagging and lots of running away, etc. Or maybe because you guys were playing to your own set of little unofficial rules, while my "play to win" rules were basically the "don't die ever, kill others if you can." To me, the non-dying part could be very easily accomplished by running running running from any fight with bad odds which were nearly all of them fleeing fleeing fleeing constantly wandering around away from people until they got tired of it, since a lot of PKers have ADD anyhow, or until I got tired of it and logged off. Oops, end of game. And if you kill others, well, the easiest way to accomplish that is to really be a griefer and whack the smaller badly equipped newbs, you know. No, I can't really play with honour in this sort of unrestricted PK game, while I didn't have the will to play it so seriously that I'd figure out all the counters to PK'ers who wanted to enforce honourable play.
But I was ruthless in arena PK for a bit. Nice small enclosed area, very simple rules. Last man standing wins. I played to win. I made alliances, we ganged up on people. I avoided fights whenever possible to save and conserve heals, Geandakin was the ultimate arena sneak. And I'd murder whenever possible to get those precious extra hp-draining blows in, and jump into ongoing fights to side stab circle somebody so they'd run out of heals faster, etc.
And this one stands out starkly in my memory. An Asc arena pkill, friendly contest, pretty much, but I was playing to win. I'd never won before. You can try all those tricks, but when you're 120 dr vs Rath's 220+ and Alex's 180-190+ and all the other bigger guys out there, well shoot, you're not likely to win cos of sheer maths. But you see, NONE of these big guys were there that time.
I think there was only Viracocha and Daishan as the two biggest, followed by Tiggs and me and the rest of us normals. And those two were facing off against each other, cos they knew each other was the biggest threat.
Tiggs and me allied up, and we sliced through everyone else while the two titans were fighting each other. Oh, and I followed Tiggs, so Tiggs would initiate and tank and I would help out circle. This was just done naturally because he's the better instinctive tank, but as you might have figured out, this would add up to my advantage later on. Tiggs wasn't all out to win that day, so he didn't really mind, I believe.
Back to the clash of the titans. Dai lost. Vira won. But at what cost, yah?
Down to Tiggs, me, Vira. The honourable way would be to everyone ffa, right?
Vira picked Tiggs to target first. I have no clue why this always happens. I was never primary target except in GoC arena'ing, where everyone knew I was loaded for bear. Guess I seemed harmless. Heh.
So the two were fighting each other. I sat around and let 'em fight a bit, thinking my options over. Also conveniently draining each other of heals while I pondered the potential for an act of betrayal. "Accidental" or otherwise. Would that improve my chances of winning any?
(Of course, I wasn't totally amoral, and I'd feel bad if I backstabbed Tiggs then too. He'd never hurt me though, I knew. By the way, I eventually picked up/learned an interesting sort of loyalty from him and Aylssa, we never went after family until everyone else was down, then it was just for fun.)
Face it, Vira was the real threat with his dr. I don't think I could have survived him one on one, I wasn't that experienced at the time. So I went right after his ass. We mercilessly pounced him over and over, Tiggs and I never hit each other.
He lagged for one crucial instant when we both hit him at the same time, double circle, GAME OVER.
Then down to Tiggs and me, we mutually shook hands, said may the best man win, and went at it. As you can guess, it went down to who had most heals, and I was packing while he was sucking fumes.
I won. I got my only real arena PK trophy from that, not inclusive of Deathball.
I played to win. And I did.
But I still feel rather ashamed of it in retrospect because after that, Vira was completely upset. Partially because I think he expected to win, and partially because getting ganged on repeatedly by two people knowing you're doomed is no fun. He was spewing and fuming and going, what the heck was up with you. And at the time I told him, something like, hey no hard feelings, it was just the way it had to be. There was no chance of either of us low dr guys winning if we killed each other and let you rape us, we had to team up on you. Only logical way to go.
He's never believed I'm a gal because of this incident of sheer ruthless calculation. :)
Imo, this is the play to win philosophy epitomized at its finest. Cold hard logic and facts and math. Amoral. Selfish. Almost evil, imo. If I want to win, that's how it has to be, you know? I can't handicap myself and play nice and make people feel good, I wouldn't win like that, period.
You know, after that, I don't think I ever arena pk'ed again without seriously thinking about whether I would act cold and ruthlessly gang someone because the math dictates the necessity to, or play more fairly and for fun and not worry about the win so much. And I played more like the latter version. Scrub, yes! Play-to-winner turned back to a scrub because I felt a lot better about myself, and my reputation and social life felt better playing honourably and fair. Screw winning or even joining Horrorshow. My only participation in it was to try and earn a place for a friend.
That didn't stop my ruthless questing to win in RoD quests and exploration though.
And I carried it to the peak and beyond to learn an important lesson.
Winning and always winning is ultimately hollow.
Yes, if you want to win, you play the game just like that article wrote. You will win.
But what happens after you win? You feel happy. For a brief fleeing moment. And then it's gone like a drug and you want your next fix. You're not happy until you've won again, and then poof, the euphoria and elation is gone again. Back to the glory hunt and the pursuit of victory.
And you climb higher and higher up that hill of mastery, and you find yourself starkly alone at the peak. You are without compare. All those close to you are gathered lower than you, worshipping you with awe. Your image is adulated, not your true self. Yes-men surround you, buttering up your ego. You're a celebrity, a star, an amazement because of your powers and your talent.
And you cringe inside because you know you're not that good. One day you'll lose, and then people will know you for the fraud you are. One day you'll lose, and people will forget your name. But not this day, you can't lose today, you must win, you HAVE TO WIN. (It rips you up inside, seriously, talk about an emotional investment.)
AND GODDAMN EVERYONE WHO CANNOT KEEP UP WITH YOU AND ARE STOPPING YOU FROM WINNING!!!
Bloody teammates. Useless freaking morons. Dead weight. Feel like cutting them loose and letting them drown, but no, you need to drag them around like anchors because you need them to basically add damage and they have to follow you, it's part of the rules of the game to yank these fellows around. OMFG, they are so stupid they cannot even find a portal on their front doorstep so they can retrieve their corpse so we can go on to the next quest mob. And you go apeshit crazy and you start yelling because you're so frustrated and you take it out on everyone.
:P
It happened, you know, more or less. I can't say I'm proud of it.
And nearly the same scenario happened in miniature during Battle For the Galaxy: Natural Selection. Chock full of clan folks who were, naturally, play-to-winners with their special tactics and techniques for better play. Total breakdown over voice comms because everyone was so intent on WINNING and we were, incredibly, losing horribly. Everyone lashed at each other and blamed each other, tempers flared, tantrums thrown. These are 20-30+ something guys, you know. But the immaturity level and the politics out the ass. Hackusations thrown. Rants, back-seat generals and leadership trying to enforce themselves like drill sergeants. Wow. And they couldn't stand losing, so they recruited some Spanish clan players so they could beat the other side and WIN. Yay.
(It's funny how they're all so damn unpleasant to be around because they are so focused on this winning. They can only hang with each other. Even on forum boards, their mindset is all about everyone being noobs and nonserious players, while the only ones worth redemption are those willing to learn their mystic way of play-to-winning and competitive sporty play.)
And remember that high mountain peak? Of course you have peers. They are on other mountain peaks of their own, they are your rivals. They're striving to get higher and find bigger mountains to climb, and you are doing the same thing. No way you can share your secrets. Nope, not talking to anyone...
...Gee, dammit, it's quiet up here...
...And it's getting kinda lonely...
I'm not even sure what my point is, but I think I'm trying to grope toward telling people that winning is not all it's cut out to be.
Been there, done that. It's fun for a while, and then you suffer with the loneliness or you burn yourself up and out with hate, jealousy and obsession with competing and winning, and fear of failure and losing.
Maybe you had to have been through similar things before you'll recognize it and understand. Maybe I'm wasting my breath saying this stuff for anyone, and admit that it's just to purge myself of this article.
Maybe it's a guy thing. Maybe the testosterone and the age-old sex drive and hierarchical pecking order of mating is saying that you need to win. No two ways about it. Biologically, it might be an imperative. And that's spread itself to other aspects of life, this needing to win.
Emotionally and spiritually though, I think it's really bad for you, no matter what gender you are.
So now I play for the goal of having fun on the journey. I think that's better.
And I think now's a good time to remind myself of it, because CoH PvP is coming, and so is Guild Wars and their PvP which is basically for this subset of hardcore play-to-winners. I'll leave them to it. Either they will eventually have a similar revelation, or they will be happy doing what they are doing. Either way, it's none of my business and I won't stick my nose in it.
5 comments:
Spent more time thinking on this. Such a nice article, btw. It provokes so much thought and discussion, I love it.
Sometimes, we don’t have to play the game as it is made. We don’t have as simplistic a viewpoint as those people who play to win and screw everything else. We, (to make ourselves feel better, we shall get all high falutin’ and diss everyone else who doesn’t follow our philosophy of living – story of humanity) are that section of “scrubs” as defined by the “play-to-winners” who can call ourselves the “metagamers.”
The game in itself we realize is going to get boring. Real soon. There’s more badly designed games than not out there. So we play for other reasons than winning. And usually, we can make up these reasons on our own. We make up our house rules. We’re that section of gamers who will make up their own challenges.
Some of us tell ourselves we must collect every badge. Or every storyarc souvenir. Or both. Or like me, I want to drain dry the contacts at least once.
And some are the datamining collectors. They’ll sit on test for hours with a stopwatch getting crucial numbers and statistics of every skill. Doing that would bore me to tears, I hate math, but all power to them.
What kind of datamining do I like to do? I’m already starting a casual contact database. I want to know which name sells what type of DOs and what level those enhancements are. I haven’t found a webby that tells me that yet, beyond the simple origin, and that doesn’t work if they sell stuff like Mutation/Science DOs and their origin is Science and I’m a Mutant who could use ‘em all the same.
[Some day, I want to make a total stellar space map of one of my classic favorites. Nomad. Of course I’d have to find a computer clunky enough to play the damn thing with sound first.]
There are gamers who play for other reasons. Some roleplay for various social reasons, forming relationships, communities, etc. or to immerse themselves in a fantasy world. Some just want the social kick or the challenge of an 8-man invincible team, or they gimp themselves willingly or do commonly understood to be stupid things to see how far they can go – the MAN build, the Assclowns, the Lemmings of Justice, etc.
And it’s these guys who think outside the box who come up with the really esoteric stuff. The play-to-winners are too busy honing their skills out to win the legal contests. They never came up with Nerf ball or Supersoakers.
Look at Operation Lunar. The attempted trip to the moon. I guess this is the R&D side, the fooling around side, because even the author of the play-to-win article agreed that you can’t play-to-win all the time if you hope to improve and hone your technique.
Let’s all stand and salute and celebrate: The Metagamers.
Interesting article.
Except that like all black and white generalisations it falls flat on its face.
People who make up "rules" in a game so they can have more fun, or challenge themselves, are sucky players who will lose to elite players?
Unsure. I knew lots of people who pkilled on warriors because thieves and vampires were just too easy and boring. They scrubbed, and then when they got back to a vampire they were playing twice, thrice as better as before.
Oh, I also saw "elite" players who blinded and container burst in pkill. That's elite, without 'scrub' rules. One or two of them just do it for fun, don't really use it to get uber loot, so that's scrubbing...we don't mind those unless they get annoying. There are the 'elite' ones who use these tactics all the time to, well, be elite. They very soon just earn the hatred of everyone else and get killed and looted.. guess they just don't have the 'elite' skills to back up their 'elite' techniques eh.
Or maybe their 'elite' tactics don't work against scrubs who know the game better but play by their own scrubby rules, and just wear ice girths / use bash resistant characters.
But then there are some scrubby fellows that scream blue murder if you take their cheapo chains of imprisonment to -wear-.
There's always a balance.
Anyway, people can play however they like. The disclaimer in this is, if other people don't like it, those other people can do something about it.
You can make a tank that doesn't tank, a blaster who wants to tank, a defender who only blasts. It's your 15 bucks. If you piss off people you group with, they can kick you, and not group with you.
You can call them morons. They can call you a moron.
I have a not-empathy defender. People think I suck and don't want to group with me. Ok. I call them morons. They call me gimpy. Whatever, as I don't want to group with people who don't appreciate my powers, they don't want to group with someone with sucky powers in their opinion. Everyone is happy, no need to call each other scrubs.
For some reason I'm getting weird double, triple posts.
Post a Comment